Surrender to Not Knowing

My first Family Constellations teacher taught me something which is great advice for life:

Learn to be comfortable in the not-knowing until the next step emerges.

Meaning: get out of your head because it doesn’t have the answers. Trust your body and your heart and Something Greater to guide you.

Besides that it’s a deep honor to support people in their healing, one of the reasons I love facilitating Constellations is exactly this: it cannot be done with the mind. You have to throw all the theory and all the previous examples out the window to allow the unfolding.

This isn’t how we’re trained.

The vast majority of us learned to conform to the “right way” to think. Getting the answers right on the test. Telling people what they want to hear. Doing what people want us to do. This disconnects us massively from the wisdom of our own bodies.

Our minds were always meant to work in concert with our hearts. The scientists at Heart Math have some amazing research on heart-mind coherence and very simple, free daily practices you can learn.

Don’t get mad at me for saying this, but… one of the best practices for getting comfortable in the not-knowing and the not-thinking is meditation. If that’s not your thing, practice sitting still, focused on what’s happening in the present moment. Even 5 minutes is a good start to rewire your nervous system and get out of your head.

I write this as someone who has been a very inconsistent meditator for about 25 years. I recently recommitted to a daily practice, and I’m leaving this weekend for a 10-day meditation retreat in Costa Rica!

I’m preparing to get comfortable in the not-knowing and I’m looking forward to sharing about my retreat experience when I’m back.

Photo at top by Dorota Dylka on Unsplash