This was not what I expected

Happy Spring! I hope yours is off to a beautiful start. I’m home after two weeks on a retreat in Costa Rica.

I wasn’t expecting to receive deep healing. But the space was so nourishing, that the most disempowered part of me decided it was safe to be seen. I kept experiencing an irrational fear of being cold (in the tropics!), and then I got sick the moment I got home.

🌺The Wisdom of our Bodies 

Our bodies store our subconscious beliefs and woundings until we’re ready to see and heal them. My symptoms were my body’s way of releasing toxic emotions (fever), showing me suppressed anger (cold sores) and a feeling that what I’m seeing is not what should be (stye on my eye).

I love digging into this stuff! My homeopath & Family Constellations helped me get to the root cause of the symptoms. We connected with an inner child part - my Inner Infant, who felt abandoned and just wanted warmth (hence the fear of being cold).

🌺Mean People Crush Loving People  

This infant part of me didn’t want to be in this life on Earth. She held a core belief: “mean people crush pure-hearted people in this world. This is a very hard place to live.”  

Our inner children hold unconscious and subconscious imprinting from traumatic times in the womb, at birth and in childhood. Until these imprints are integrated, they still control our behavior. The healing begins when we acknowledge them and give them a place in our hearts.

🌺Healing through Divine Love

Very few (maybe none) of us received all the love and nurturing we wanted as children. Since we can’t go back in time to get it from our mother, calling on Divine Mother to hold our inner children is very healing.

🌺The Takeaways 

For myself: As uncomfortable as it was to be sick, I’m grateful to have had a sort of soul retrieval of my Inner Infant. Now ALL of me wants to be here.

For women: We get to have compassion for those who have People Pleasing tendencies. This is a survival strategy that comes from childhood wounding - held at the root chakra, where we connect to Earth.

If you’re a recovering people pleaser, you weren’t safe to express authentically growing up. So you did what was necessary to get love, safety and belonging in your family.  

The good news is, more and more, our wounding is coming to light spontaneously - because we’re ready to see it, individually and as a collective. The Earth herself and the whole universe is supporting us rise as the women we were divinely created to be. 🌟